Dear Stomach Flu, I just wanted to thank you so very much for coming to stay with us last week. I usually don't like unannounced pop-ins, but this was truly an exception. I'm just sorry my husband had to work so much and missed all the quality, one-on-one attention you were able to afford Maxine and me. I was just reminiscing about all the fun we had — staying up late into the night, losing weight without even trying, sleeping in unusual places. (Like remember the bathroom floor? Hahahahahaha!)
I also wanted to apologize, Stomach Flu. There were some times — and I'm not proud — when I wasn't as kind as I could have been. I lost my temper. Like when I said I'd rather die than have you here another minute. I hope you didn't take that the wrong way. I feel sure that you didn't because your confidence and character never seemed shaken in the slightest. In fact, it almost seemed like you were mocking me. You crazy drifter, you can find humor in anything! So admirable.
Oh sure, you may not be most "low-maintenance" house guest. It's true that you can make people feel bad sometimes, and can be pretty messy. But no one's perfect, and we just appreciated that you were able to stay as long as you did. It's not like we had anything else going on — school, for instance, or blogs to be written — that might have required us to be anywhere but fully engaged with you. No, your timing was stellar, as usual.
Of course, I don't have any illusions that we are that special to you; I know that you're probably moving on to some other family as we speak. (In fact, I'm not quite sure where to send this letter.) But we just feel so, well, lucky to be included on your great tour of the United States, and beyond. I just wanted to tell you that. Safe travels, friend!
P.S. I'm including a picture from your stay. See, I told you everyone looks better in Instagram!