God, That's Funny!


There are few things I enjoy more than hearing stories about the cute and funny things young children say. I think it's the combination of their undeveloped vocabularies, eagerness to imitate adults and dead-pan delivery that makes kids of a certain age so damn engrossing. My nephew is about to turn 3 and running at full-throttle in terms of cuteness. Every single thing that kid says or does charms me to one degree or another. I remember when Maxine was 3 — I was always reaching for my notebook to write down things she'd say.

Here are some of them:

* I was teaching Maxine to write the letter "M" and giving her stickers each time she got it right. After a while, I said, "Now I want to work with you on A's." She said: "Now I want to work with YOU on TOYS."

* One day, I found Maxine standing in front of the toilet with a pool of urine at her feet. She hadn't been able to get to the toilet in time. "Mommy," she said. "I'm so sorry I peed on the floor. That was a wrong and bad idea."

* I asked Maxine if there was anything she hoped to get from Santa for Christmas. She said, "A pink teddy bear." I suggested she go tell our "Elf on the Shelf," Johnny, so he could relate her wishes to Santa. She found Johnny and said: "Johnny, please tell Santa I want a pink teddy bear for Christmas..." Then, as my husband and I exchanged one of those "isn't-that-cute" looks, she added: "And diamonds."

I could go on and on.

And, if you have young children, you could, too. Which, as it turns out, is precisely why I'm telling you all this. Starting today, I'll be collecting stories for my book (and this blog, of course) about kids and religion, and I need your help.

If I'd thought of this a couple of years ago, I might have called it "Sh*t My Kid Says about God." Now I'd rather die a slow, painful death than write a "Sh*t My Whatever Says About Whatever." But the point is roughly the same.

I'm looking for all your cute, funny, charming, surprising stories. And, seriously, anything goes. As long as your kid is involved, and it relates to God or religion or the nature of the universe, I'd love to hear it. It could be one line — my daughter once told me: "When the moon is up, God is holding the sun. When the sun is up, God is holding the moon" — or an entire discussion, like the one I related to you in this blog last September. It could even be a picture drawn by your kiddo, or relevant piece of writing.

My only requirements:

• If you include quotes, please be sure they are actual quotes.

• Email me at relaxitsjustgod@gmail.com or message me on Twitter (@WendyRussell), rather than telling your story in a comment.

• Please specify whether you'd like your name/your child's name to be withheld.


Also, an another note, my Survey for Nonreligious Parents is going great. Thank you so much for your participation and for passing it along to others. Another few weeks like the one we had last week, and this thing will be just about wrapped up. Thanks again!